Saturday, July 24, 2010

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The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won't Work and What to Do Instead, by Kristen Ulmer

The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won't Work and What to Do Instead, by Kristen Ulmer


The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won't Work and What to Do Instead, by Kristen Ulmer


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The Art of Fear: Why Conquering Fear Won't Work and What to Do Instead, by Kristen Ulmer

Review

“Beautifully blending practical, personal, and philosophical insights, Kristen Ulmer has expanded my mind and changed my life. Read The Art of Fear and you’ll always be scared again—but only in the best possible way.” (Michael Finkel, bestelling author of The Stranger in the Woods)“What to do about fear eluded me until I met Kristen. I now use her advice daily...to take the pit out of my stomach, do a better job at work, and get much-needed sleep. You are going to love this book.” (Bob Roll, former professional cyclist, author, and television sports commentator)“People have been avoiding or medicating away fear and anxiety for too long...Finally, someone who is clear about this enormous and important subject, with great practical advice that is simply spot on. This book will turn the fear and anxiety world on their heads.” (Kate Maloney, PhD, conscious living and social change innovator)“Learning how to have an intimate relationship with fear is one of the best things you can do, and Kristen is masterful at teaching you how to do that.” (Dr. Andy Walsh, director of high performance at Red Bull)“Kristen Ulmer’s The Art of Fear causes a radical shift in our relationship to this companion in life called Fear, shapeshifting it into an ally on which we may rely to wisely guide us on the path of the unknown.” (Michael Bernard Beckwith, author of Spiritual Liberation and Life Visioning)“Everything you ever wanted to know about fear. Ulmer takes a radical approach to an age-old problem and delivers smart, exciting, and extremely fresh ideas.” (Steven Kotler, bestselling author of Stealing Fire and The Rise of Superman)“...[A]uthentic, original, and deeply helpful guide for turning fear to your advantage. Kristen Ulmer offers us a manual for living with freedom and joy in the midst of all the competing voices that arise to derail us on the journey.’ (Sally Kempton, author or Meditation for the Love of It and Awakening Shakti)“Who better than Kristen Ulmer to introduce us to our constant companion, fear, and turn him from an enemy to a friend?  But this book is about so much more as well—how to embrace every moment of life with open arms.” (Deb Rieman, tech entrepreneur)“For years, I dangled my ski tips over the edge of cliffs. Kristen got me to actually jump. Whether on snow, in your career, or just life itself, no one owns fear better than Ulmer.” (Christopher Sacca, Founder and Chairman of Lowercase Capital)“Whether you’re a professional athlete, running a business, or looking to live a more authentic life, Kristen will show you the path to championship performance.” (David Ford, hedge fund manager)

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From the Back Cover

We all feel fear. It is one of our most essential emotions. Regardless, fear has long been something we are taught to overcome, control, or rationalize away. We learn to ignore it or let it go. We strive to be fearless. But to what benefit? Once recognized as the best woman extreme skier in the world (an honor she held for twelve years), Kristen Ulmer knows fear well. In this conversation-changingbook, she argues that fear is not an enemy here to cause us trouble. Instead, it’s our current reaction to this misunderstood emotion that leads to trouble, causing us to be at war with it, and thus at war with ourselves. It’s time to revolutionize our relationship with fear.Ulmer explores why we have come to view fear as a negative, and the consequences of that perception. Informed by her years being “fearless” and more than fifteen years studying and teaching Zen, she goes on to unpack fear and shows that it’s just one of 10,000 voices that make up our reality, helping us come alive alongside joy, love, and gratitude. Introducing a mindfulness tool called “Shift,” Ulmer teaches us how to experience fear in a simpler, more authentic way, inviting us to be in conversation with it, transforming our relationship with this emotion from that of a draining battle into one of freedom.In The Art of Fear, Ulmer shows us how to turn to fear in an honest, considerate way. Only by examining and then shifting our relationship with fear can we finally and permanently address its underlying restraints, and set ourselves on course to living a more grounded, vibrant, and authentic life.

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Product details

Paperback: 320 pages

Publisher: Harper Wave; Reprint edition (June 12, 2018)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 0062423444

ISBN-13: 978-0062423443

Product Dimensions:

5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches

Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)

Average Customer Review:

4.4 out of 5 stars

47 customer reviews

Amazon Best Sellers Rank:

#83,349 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

This book seemed to promise me a novel approach towards coping with competition anxiety (I’m a nationally competitive amateur athlete). I wanted to like this book. I was excited to start it. The reviews were glowing, and the author seemed to be someone who could speak from authority.Halfway through the book, however, I was in serious difficulty. I found myself re-reading entire sections, trying to puzzle out the author’s meaning. Finally, I decided to put the book down for 48 hours and come back to it, assuming that perhaps I needed to take a breath.Coming back two days later--feeling that I could approach the book with fresh eyes--I decided that it wasn’t me, but simply that this book was a hot mess.Ulmer starts from an excellent premise: fear is something that is inescapable, and rather than be repressed or ignored, it has to be accepted, and embraced. This is an excellent approach in many situations, especially when discussing common anxieties about social situations or performances. The approach is hardly novel (as she claims) but it is not one that is often discussed, and it certainly needs more exploration in popular books like this.Ulmer has some excellent seeds of thought in this book. However, they are buried in a tremendous amount of chatter, clumsy metaphors, outright contradictions (you will solve your relationship with fear in a few hours, but later mentions that it may take much time), and occasional segues into personal accounts which often didn't seem to relate to the point her text is trying to make. At random intervals, a zen story or koan is thrown in. Sometimes at an appropriate place, sometimes not.My impression of Ulmer is that she is someone who chose to write this book after an experience with zen--as a method or with an instructor--that resonated with her very strongly. In a rush to get her excitement about this experience on paper, she has put down 300 pages or so of nearly stream of consciousness writing that is occasionally baffling, sometimes illuminating, but mostly frustrating to read.It would have been good if her editor had accepted their own fear and had gone through this book with a much stronger hand. There is a good message in “The Art of Fear” but if you can find it, you probably have already heard it.

I would like to speak to some of the less than favorable reviews of the book. Their perspective of the flow of the book is accurate. That’s actually the point. This is an amazing book that you do not realize is amazing while you are reading it because it is not that comfortable to read. At times it is even very uncomfortable to read. Then you put it down and come back to it because you know you have to read it if you want to know what you don't know. And you do. And you are glad you did.If you want to read a literary masterpiece then buy a novel. If you want to understand your relationship with yourself and how to better navigate the human life journey then read this book!

It's easy to stay in your lane your entire life and get the expected results. Fear is something to be afraid of, the two go hand in hand. Kristen Ulmer's book challenges the reader to look at fear differently, to develop a new relationship with it, and switch lanes. Who knows where it will take you? Somewhere better, I hope. I've read the criticisms of her book, how it isn't original, etc. Whether that is the case or not (and does it matter?) her ideas are compelling, her anecdotes and words prompted "aha" moments for me, and she showed me another way of living life --- by giving the very original examples of how she has lived hers --- and the courage to look at my relationship with fear differently. I'm not a fan of self-help books, they are usually a page or two of information and 150 pages of filler that I can do without. Her book kept me interested and engaged all the way through.

Although the author makes some good points about the need to acknowledge and experience fear, I’m not sure why she feels the need to criticize other perspectives & types of treatment in order to bolster her own point of view. In fact, the need to criticize others is in her book as an indicator that there is more internal work to do. Also- comparing oneself to others (whether you come out on top or not) is still the need to compare urself to others - which is judgement - which is also in her book as an indicator that emotions are still “in the basement”.I find her pattern of generalizing lacking professionalism & awareness- “every anger management class will tell you...”, “every therapist will say...”- she appears convinced that she is the only one who would believe in the concept that fear should be acknowledged and experienced- vs. conquered or fought. “Every (fill in the blank)...” is a broad inaccurate statement and illustrates a need to stroke her own ego. It is disheartening to hear her imply that individuals on medications (given they make that choice) are less than “warriors”. And that ppl should “fire their shrink”.. under-acknowledging the connectivity, work, & opportunities one has in the therapeutic relationship. I find many statements in her book negligent and insensitive. I’m concerned for those that could benefit from the work she is trying to do.... especially bc they may pick up this book at time they are in despair and vulnerable, only to be misled at this critical time. The author limits the opportunity for this book to be useful & effective with a ‘my way is the only way’ message.

I have been a big Kristen Ulmer fan for years, her clear ability to combine what you learn from sport into powerful tools for life is a talent. Not to mention her training in with a Zen Master. When she released this book I was so excited to digest her advice and knowledge in a book format. I have more than 30 highlighted sections in this book, I'd say that's a good indication that this book delivers many insights that will shift your perspective on fear. This book gave me tangible steps for creating my own fear practice and that felt really empowering. If you're looking to be inspired and get step by step instructions for change, and not just theory, this is the book for you. You will walk away different and better for it. Thanks, Kristen!

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