April 07, 2019
Download Ebook The Book of Separation: A Memoir
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The Book of Separation: A Memoir
Download Ebook The Book of Separation: A Memoir
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Product details
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 9 hours and 22 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Audible Studios
Audible.com Release Date: October 24, 2017
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B076KST3HH
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
A beautiful, exquisitely written book. Honest to the bone. Poignant. I loved it!Though I’m not Jewish, as a young child I lived near and was befriended by several Jewish families. I had to struggle, in the second grade, to understand that, though I’d been taught by an elderly nun how and why to baptize, I mustn’t baptize Judy. And, despite what the nun had taught us, the adults from both families convinced me God was OK with it.Children can bridge and accept divides which flummox adults.This book speaks to so much. It respects questions. It deals with love and independence and the pain of navigating life against the grain of ritualized behavior one has been taught can never be discarded.I’ve read many stories about conversions or ‘inversions’ but this is a book unique in its pondering of conundrums related to religion, to raising children thoughtfully, to adhering to ones own truth- while respecting the family one has come from and brought to birth.I’ve been fascinated by religions since second grade - when Judy and I became fast friends, when two families allowed little children to join each other’s family for opposite religious holidays. What a blessing that was upon my young life! (Just as knowing little Enrique ages 5 and 6 gave me entry into a Spanish-speaking family - in a different State and neighborhood earlier.)I’m 73 now. You look back on your life a lot in old age. You appreciate those, who like this writer - and myself - have pondered, questioned and tried to resolve, to transcend, what cannot be bridged.Possibly the best memoir I’ve ever read!As an aside:This book reminds me of another book: “Words on Fire†by Vanessa Ochs. Very different! But another Jewish woman, finding her way in a masculine-dominated religion. Amazon has that book (out of print, I guess, but available from other sellers), and sadly not in Kindle form.
Tova Mirvis bares her soul in "A Book of Separation," in which she recalls her Modern Orthodox upbringing in Memphis; her sixteen-year marriage to Aaron, with whom she had three children; and her decision at the age of forty to leave not only her husband, but also traditional Judaism. Tova, (a name that in Hebrew means "good"), is a novelist who married too young and too hastily, before she and Aaron really knew who they were and what they wanted. Although they stayed together for a long time and were grateful to have two beautiful sons and a daughter, Aaron and Tova gradually drifted apart and began quarreling. Tova had hinted now and then that she was no longer comfortable with the rituals that defined their existence, but Aaron was still shocked when she asked for a divorce.Mirvis's writing is exceptional. She creates poetic images and vivid metaphors, and in heartfelt passages, shares her feelings of pain, guilt, and loss. The author does not single out religion as the sole source of her discontent. In fact, she acknowledges that Orthodox Judaism is, for many individuals (including Tova's Chasidic brother), a beautiful and fulfilling way of life that helps bring harmony, peace, and joy to its adherents. Nor does she blame her husband for her woes. Instead, after much soul-searching, she realized that her insular community was slowly suffocating her. She was no longer content to go through the motions of pretending to be happy."The Book of Separation" is a poignant and, in many ways, sad description of the dissolution of a long marriage, made all the more difficult because three children were involved. Tova and Aaron consulted lawyers and therapists before splitting up their property, settling on a joint custody agreement, and making the transition from a couple to single parents. This memoir is a rich tapestry that flashes back to Tova's childhood, education, early years with Aaron, and her excitement and pleasure at becoming a mother and a novelist. Finally, she finds the courage to express her misgivings to her husband, parents, and friends. Eventually, she forges a new path, and takes her first tentative steps into uncharted territory.
Talk about taking a bold leap. In Tova Mirvis’ memoir THE BOOK OF SEPARATION, she goes in depth about having grown up as an Orthodox Jew and how even at a young age started questioning some of the strict rules of her religion but went along with what ‘she was supposed to do.’ Engaged, after a very brief courtship, and married at a very young age, this was, again, what she was supposed to do, even though she had reservations, but had nothing to compare it to and nobody to talk to about her ever increasing concerns. She wanted out. From her marriage and her religion.While Mirvis did love her husband and was delighted to start a family, it was the small push-backs that she wanted to make and did, which made her start to realize and question not only this world in which she lived, perhaps not her faith, but the rules themselves. Being told that she was not allowed to feel how she felt was too much. If she could not live freely, think freely, act freely, what kind of life was this. But, what would the repercussions be? Would her parents and siblings still embrace her? What would become of her relationship with her children if their beliefs were no longer the same?It is fascinating to learn about this community that feels almost secretive to those who are not a part of it. And, understandable why those who are a part of it, do not feel comfortable to voice any concerns about the rules that would be met with criticism for fear of being ostracized or not fully committed. Mirvis enlightens and shows her readers, in the bravest of ways, that you can hold on to what you believe without compromising what’s in your heart, without sacrificing your own happiness, all while maintaining peace in your family, to the best of your ability. Above all, she put her children first.
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